The Radio
by Prayde
Summary: While in her secret hideout, Jay Potter realizes that she had loved Sirius Black like a big brother when she hears a song in the radio... but what if it wasn't just brother to sister love? (Female James) Sirius/James Sirius/Jay


**Disclaimer****: I do not own Harry Potter. Own the song though. **

**So... slash. I don't feel uncomfortable with it anymore, and I think gay or lesbians are people all the same, but no one wants to witness any public display of affection even if it was with two different genders. I accidentally read one Sirius/James, and it sort of started up a flame inside. So, not my best work, but work all the same. **

**Sorry if it's so horrible! Would love to get feedback, even if it us going to trash my day.**

_Sirius doesn't know, does he? Thank Merlin, I don't want anyone to ever know about my secret haven, my sanctuary,_ I thought as I entered the secret passageway that was blocked by the Whomping Willow. _Sirius always said I was so distant to everyone besides the Marauders, but I don't know what he's talking about, honest! Sure, I don't say hi to everyone besides the Marauders, but who cares? I'm just an ordinary prankster, and I plan to keep it that way. _I decided as I descended. The path led down to the huge trunk that managed to block a very good passageway, but I knew it wasn't really a dead end. Kicking the center, I watched as a groaning noise was heard as the camouflaged trapdoor was opened, and I hopped inside. It closed itself and torches lit once it did.

No one knew about this, I've checked loads of times. It was secure with a bunch of wards and only allowed people who I loved to enter. Ha! I don't love anyone, which makes this foolproof. Lily Evans, I used to, but now I don't. She finally had shown her true colors when she stays with her gossipy and dirty friends, always boasting about their latest snag. I wanted to punch her square in the face, but I had my morals. My parents never loved me, but I loved them when I was young. I was just another mistake of theirs, as my dad's condom broke during sexual intercourse with my mother. I was fooled a bunch of times when I was little, but now I wasn't. Sirius, Remus and Peter were just friends. Sure, I'd die for them, but love was such a strong word.

I entered the room and grinned at the soft brown walls. Peach carpeted flooring felt soft against my bare feet as I kicked my shoes off. I relaxed and observed my masterpiece after years of learning spells and moving them the muggle way.

Bookcases were full of books and notebooks, some only found in a few places. I made copies of the library's books so I can work here. Shelves of interesting things were occupying the oak shelves. My parents' first and last gift, the snow globe I used to treasure, now carelessly still loved but could be disposed of. A few of Remus and Peter's presents were there too. Some cards, a wallet, a very nice quill and some good old wooden chests that I'm sure I'll put a few things in when I'm older. All Sirius' seven presents were there. A black magic watch, a fancy flashlight that Sirius said was a "Deluminator", a nice set of exotic quills that I couldn't bring myself to use, a necklace with the letters: _P&P, _a box of expensive joke stuff, a wand holster and a photo album filled with the Marauders' pictures. All of those gifts weren't cheap, I dully noted as I observed the presents Sirius had given me. Then again, my gifts for Sirius weren't cheap either.

I remember I got him a magical journal, a radio when he told me how boring it was at home, a muggle phone to contact me or anyone really when there were no other means, some pranks stuff, a muggle Parker pen and a notebook, a beater's bat when Sirius accidentally broke his and a box that James made himself. Sirius said he always puts stuff in it.

Looking around I saw pictures of the Marauders, pictures of my family (without me in it), pictures of me and Sirius, pictures of me and Sirius, pictures of me and Sirius...

Shaking my head, I look away and finally settled for sitting down. I closed my eyes and slouched. It had been a long day. Grabbing the necklace Sirius gave me, I swung it around my neck and clasped it tightly. The radio I saved for was already on the table, lying innocently. I turned it on and relaxed when the music played. The Weird Sisters were good, I give them that. After their song, I got the hell scared out of me as I heard Sirius' voice.

_"We got a Hogwarts student in the line. May I ask what you want to request, who you want to give it for and what is your name, again?" _

_"Sirius Black. Er, it's my best friend's birthday, James Potter's birthday, and I sort of don't know where he is. Hey, James, I hope you're listening. Wait, never mind, I recorded this. Can you play a muggle song? It's called, 'We Got The Power' by The Day After The 'Morrow." _

_"Okay, we've got it. Hold on. This is 'We've Got The Power' by The Day After The 'Morrow, requested by one Sirius Black. Lean back and relax folks, and hopefully this James Potter will receive it." _

I stared, dumbstruck at the radio. A quiet, danceable yet relaxing song filled the room. I didn't notice a shadow leaning in the doorway, smiling softly.

_"You were always there for me, when the laughter ensued as I fell and scraped my knee_

_It was always you who had my back, helping me up when I lost track._

_You've got a bubble of happiness in a thousand mile radius when you walk in_

_And I feel like I'm nothing, but you tell me I'm perfect, that's something._

_You gave me a heart attack, when you swerved too right and the road almost hit your back._

_I was hysterical that night, I told you to never dive and I held you tight_

_I won two tickets for a great movie, I brought you there almost immediately. _

_I figured out that I loved you a year ago, how should I know?_

_Baby, you're my reason to live, _

_I almost cried myself to sleep once I thought you were dead._

_Baby, we've got the power of too, that's more I can ask for, all I can ask for._

_Today is a chance, yesterday was a memory. _

_But tomorrow is a new chapter of our lives." _

I slouched even some more as the instrumental came in. I always thought Sirius liked me, but I never really thought that he loved me. He loved me like a younger brother, and I hadn't felt more happy in my entire life. The lyrics had an uncanny resemblance to our lives though, I realized. I swerved too right on my broom one time, and Sirius grew hysterical. He gave me a ticket to see _The Matrix, _which was officially the best movie of my life. Sirius agreed. Sirius had scraped his knee in first year, and while everyone laughed, I picked him up.

_"I finally began to realize, you're my anchor to this world._

_I finally realized that you were meant to be mine, _

_I'm your admirer, I loved all along, _

_If you can't return those feelings, then I'm sorry but I believe you're wrong!" _

The song ended, and the commentary of the network drowned in my ears. A faint smile played on my lips. I stood up but jumped when I saw Sirius smirking, leaning on the doorway, arms crossed.

"S-Sirius?"

He smiled at me sadly and uncrossed his arms as he walked forward, closer to me. "How'd you get here? Only the people I love can go here!"

"That means you love me then." Sirius stated the obvious.

I sighed. "I guess I just wanted someone that truly cares for me... someone like you who I think of as a big brother." I watched as Sirius' face crumpled from the once happy face to the broken one. "What? What did I say?" I asked frantically as Sirius' eyes began to get glassy. Sirius wiped his eyes and his usually confident exterior broke. He slouched.

"No, no, you did nothing wrong. I just... would you hate me?" he blurted out so suddenly.

"What?" I asked, shocked he could say something like that.

"Would you hate me?" he repeated, clearer this time. I shook my head furiously.

"No, I could never hate you!" I denied as I walked closer and pulled him into an embrace. We let go at the same time and I shoved my hands into my pockets. "Sirius, I don't know what's up, but you're the only person I could ever trust fully. Even if you did something stupid, I'd always love you all the same-mmph!" I said in surprise as a warm pair of lips planted themselves fully into mine, my glasses shoved almost painfully against my nose. I stared wide-eyed at Sirius as his eyes fluttered closed once mouth met mouth. And then I realized I did _love _him in a non-platonic way. All those nights as he held me in his arms, I always felt complete. When I woke up feeling safe and secure, it was always with Sirius. I laughed and joked with him, only showing my true colors to him and sometimes Remus. As Sirius slowly but reluctantly let go, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, startling both of us. He smiled a smile full of love, adoration, possessiveness and overprotectiveness, then he eagerly wrapped his arms around my waist as he leaned in for a kiss. I responded immediately. He gently pushed backwards, and I wondered idly what he was doing before he pushed me against the wall. He nibbled on my lip, asking for an entrance, and I gladly agreed. After a while, we broke apart, and Sirius led us to the couch, dropping unceremoniously, pulling me down with him. He held me close to him, and we stayed like this. The wireless this time played a love song, and I smiled at the timing. We stayed like this for the better part of the day, sometimes talking and sometimes cherishing the memory and the silence.


End file.
